Friday, April 30, 2010

Guest Post: The Brian Fuentes Dream Build (by Fuentes)

I thought it would be fun to do a few posts on what the team is riding – we have some different styles and preferences and since Walt has been posting build kits, I thought our privateer specs, unbiased by corporate sponsorship might be vaguely interesting, or at least something to waste time on if it just snowed (again) and you can go riding. Ive been on a waltworks 29er since 2005, and this is my 4th team bike, the first 05 bike was a bit long for my sit up straight style, but now everything fits pretty much like a glove and I can’t ever imagine riding anything else.

What’s different this year is the MRP 1.X with the XX 36 tooth cassette– I have three hard races in varying conditions and this thing is awesome, the chain goes nowhere. I have a 35 for the steeper mountain races and a 37 for all around and short track racing – so far this has been plenty of gear. Also new this year is a DT/DT/Edge/Scrub wheel build that is incredibly light, very stiff and hopefully super durable. The whole bike is right at about 21 lbs, depending on tires and how much sealant I have in them, which seems pretty good for a 6’-3” guy at 170 lbs. See you at the races!


Fuentes Build 2010

Frame Waltworks Custom
09’ Fork Fox F80/100 RLC
Crankbrothers Headset
Stem Ritchey
Handlebar Edge Composites XC riser
Rear Shifter XX

Front Shifter none
Front derailleur MRP 1.X guide
Rear derailleur XX
Bottom Bracket King
Chain PC1090R
Cassette XX
Crankset Shimano XTR with MRP 37 or 35 front chain ring
Pedals Eggbeater 4ti
Cables/housing standard
Seatpost Easton EC90 400mm
Brakes Avid Juicy Ultimate

Rotors Scrub Workhorse
Skewers KCNC Mountain
Wheelset DT 190s, DT revolution spokes, w/Edge rims
Stan’s yellow tape

Tubes 1 qt sealant
Tires Kenda Karma 1.9
Grips silicon (thanks Shep)
Saddle Bontrager SL

Total – I try not to think about it (note from Walt: This build would cost about $5-6k, I think)

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Flagstaff Bouldering Tour with Peter Beal

Check out all the info at Peter's site here. If you are new to Boulder and/or bouldering, this would be a great way to find out more about the easiest-accessed climbing in the area.

Just as an aside, Pete is a huge badass. Every once in a while (read: blue moon) I manage something in the gym that he's struggling with and it always makes my day.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

My little turn on the catwalk

Or, well, to be more accurate, I got to stand behind a model and operate an O/A welding torch to make the shoot look "industrial". My friend Jeff is starting a clothing company called Alchemist Theadworks and he wanted to use the shop (and me) as a backdrop for some high-fashion t-shirt shots.

We'll see how they come out. Unfortunately building bike frames isn't quite as visually exciting as many people think - we're not pouring big streams of molten metal into molds or blowing showers of sparks everywhere. Especially not in my garage!

Anyway, I'll post a few pictures when I have them. In the meantime, check out Alchemist. They make nice stuff (I earned myself a couple of shirts for the posing, so I know).

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Chris' frame, a word about compound miters

For what it's worth, Chris, this picture is of your frame. Not very exciting, but hey, it's something!

This is a common situation on many 29er frames (and other frames that are very small) - the toptube has to be mitered to both the head tube *and* the downtube. This is known as a compound miter, or compound joint.

Of course, almost all frames have at least one compound miter - at the bottom bracket shell, where the downtube and seat tube usually (though not always) overlap as well. There are two ways to make a joint like this:

-Join (weld or braze) one tube completely, then miter the second tube to fit and weld it. This is how most high end frames are made. Generally the seat tube is completely welded to the BB shell, then the downtube is mitered to the seat tube. At the head tube end, the downtube is completely joined to the headtube, and the toptube is then mitered to fit. You can see the portion of the weld that I've completed (the top of the DT/HT joint) sticking out under the toptube in the photo.

-Miter everything, lay the tubes into place, and then tack/weld around all the exposed portions of the joint. This is common on cheaper bikes, because it's quick (the second tube doesn't have to be mitered to take into account the weld bead from the first part of the joint), but it's also weaker and can end up causing weird problems like odd noises from the unjoined but contacting surfaces of the tubes rubbing together.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Friday, April 23, 2010

2011 Fox forks (Taper!)

The new line is now (or, well, within a few weeks) available. Keep in mind that to be allowed to purchase a Fox fork with your bike, you must be buying a *complete bike*, and of course you need to be a WW frame customer - I am NOT a retail shop.

New this year: The TALAS 29er, adjustable travel, and tapered 1.5/1.125 steerer tubes! Just in time for (any day now...) my new 44standard head tubes...

Without further ado:
2011 32 F29 80 rLc $475.00
2011 32 F29 100 rLc $475.00
2011 32 F29 100 rLc 15Qr $475.00
2011 32 F29 100 rLc 15Qr 1.5 TAPER $475.00
2011 32 F29 100 TErrALOgic 15Qr $520.00
2011 32 F29 100 TErrALOgic 15Qr 1.5 TAPER $530.00
2011 32 F29 120 rLc $475.00
2011 32 F29 120 rLc 15Qr $500.00
2011 32 TALAS29 120 rLc 15Qr $550.00
2011 32 TALAS29 120 rLc 15Qr 1.5 TAPER $560.00
2011 32 TALAS29 120 TERRALOGIC 15Qr $600.00
2011 32 TALAS29 120 TERRALOGIC 15Qr 1.5 TAPER $600.00

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Photos: Steve's Crit Machine

A rare (for me) road frame. Enjoy, Steve!





Monday, April 19, 2010

Front Range Series #2, race report from Fuentes


Hats off to Alec and Ann at racepacepromotions.com for offering a cheap, close mountain bike race series for all of us desperate to get some shred on after a cold dark and snowy winter! 25 bucks gets you an hour LT workout and some drool on your jersey, what a deal! Come help support a local promoter who actually is doing this for the racers and not their own pocketbooks.

So to recap from two weeks prior for those who missed the excellent Mtn. Flyer article by photocycle.com man Eddie Clark-

http://www.mountainflyer.com/news.cfm?itemid=353

Front range mountain bike series race numero uno - at the first bear creek Front Range race, with 60 desperate dudes (welcome to cycling) in the Men's A,

http://www.americancycling.org/results/cross?year=2010&eventId=475&resultsetId=1875

It was sunny, windy and fast and we were all dusting off our racing skills after a long cold snowy winter which left most of us off the dirt for a while. For team Waltworks it was Ezster in 4th in the ladies and myself also in 4th in the boys race behind JHK, who rode from Boulder and was 5 hours in at the start, along with new fisher junior recruit Russ Finsterwald, who is going well early in his pro debut.

This weekend was down from 60 to 30 men's A racers with the big boys at sea otter at the North Area Athletic Complex off hwy 93. Big Mike West of Maverick and Kelly Magelky from Trek made their debuts and a strong repeat performance by Kevin Kane (Rocky Mountain) made for a good hard day with steep grassy climbs and twisty turns through the taped off field. Kevin Kane was third at the first front range race, and attacked me the last lap going into the big climb leaving me in 4th two weeks ago, so I knew we would be dueling it out a bit at this second race.

After taking out Kelly Magelky at the start by tripping on my own pedal like a true pro (which i do not feel bad about at all, since Kelly, put like 20 minutes into me at King of the Rockies last year, and therefore deserved it), I made a big effort to get to the front before Kevin could make too much ground on myself and the rest of the field. After i got back to his wheel, I sat on for a few laps drooling my brains out trying to recover, and then made the move to the front and rode a good smooth tempo pace for half a lap when I was surprised to look back and see I had a 5 second gap or so. I punched the nitro button and pretended I was Cancellara crushing it in the Roubaix for a half lap or so and put it at 10 seconds where it stayed until 2 to go.

At this point i had maybe 30 seconds or so and could relax a little, and enjoy riding my rad 2009 WW El Jefe team bike to a sweet W number 1 for team FD/WW. Given that Walt's blog has featured the different build kits in the last week or so, I thought it would be fun to run a few posts on what the team is riding, as we have a good diverse group and it might be fun to compare. No podium girls or champagne at the inaugural Front Range Mountain Bike Series, but free bratwurst and fun dirt biking with your pals! Hope to see you all at the next one. Thank's to Kevin's dad for the photos -

http://www.summitshots.com/2010-Mountain-Bike/2010-FRMTB-2/11872519_r2PvJ#839790053_NQ7fe

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Random interview answers (warning: long, boring)

I (just this morning) got this email:

Walt,

I'm a journalism student, writing a feature article about globalization/outsourcing in the bike industry, as well as the renaisance in handbuilt frames over the last few years. I know you're very busy; I have a few questions:

1. Why did you go into business designing and building frames? What do you like and dislike about it?

2. Unlike so many handbuilt frames these days, your frames don't have much in the way of embelishments. Taiwanese frames are cheap and the quality is adequate. Why not design a bunch of stock frames that should fit most people? It's probably less work and more profitable.

3. Knowing what you know now, would you do this again?

4. How long have you been in business and what are your goals with WaltWorks?

5. Any regrets?

6. Is there anything else that you would like me to know?

Thank you for taking the time to answer these questions.

Cheers!


Here's my response, for those who are interested:

Sure, I can give you some quick answers... it's raining, so I'm not out riding.

1: I went into business as a framebuilder because A) I had lost my "real" job as a technical editor for the US DOE, and B) I already had the tools and (sort of) the expertise from doing hobby-level building for friends and myself. I figured I might as well see if anyone wanted to buy a bike from me - that was 2004. I've had a waitlist ever since.

I like and dislike lots of things about it, but without writing a book, I'll say that the likes are flexible schedule and doing something I believe it, and the dislikes include lack of intellectual stimulation and some loneliness inherent in working for yourself.

2: I don't feel that the goal of a custom frame is to be pretty or have "embellishments". Rather, I'm concerned with precise fit and handling for a specific rider and terrain, along with high quality construction, parts picked intelligently for the needs and budget of the buyer, and a good warranty. These aren't things you can easily find in mass produced bikes. So I see the service I provide as being something like a bicycle concierge - if you come to me, you'll have a great fitting, great riding bike with good parts that should last a long time, guaranteed.

It is possible to accomplish this goal with production bikes, but in many cases the level of expertise and care on the part of the manufacturer and retailer is not up to the challenge. Of course, 99% or more of the bike riding public is on a mass-produced bike, so clearly mass production works fine for most folks. There is a fringe section of the market that wants custom work, and not all of those people want fleur-de-lis and every tube on the frame bent like spaghetti. Clearly there's a market, I've never been able to keep up with demand.

There are lots of ways I could make more money (managing a hedge fund, for example) but I make a decent living doing what I do and I enjoy the work and free time - which to me is far more valuable than salary. The skills needed to run a small design/fab business like mine are not at all the same as the ones needed to run a mass-production/outsourcing company - and I also feel that the US (along with most of western Europe) has already outsourced more of it's manufacturing than is probably economically healthy. I'd like my kids to have jobs here someday, which is why I try to buy products made by people who care about their work and enjoy it, rather than wage slaves in a dingy factory in Asia (or wherever).

3: Sure, why not? If I had to go out of business tomorrow (I'm not planning to, but hypothetically) I'd have no regrets. I've really enjoyed the 6 or 7 years that I've been a professional framebuilder - I've made money, made many new friends, learned cool skills, and had free time to ride my bike a decent amount. What's not to like? I hope to keep doing this for a long time.

4: I think I already answered that, but around 6.5 years, and my only goal is to keep building good bikes for good people.

5: You already asked that.

6: Don't think so!

Thanks!

-Walt

Friday, April 16, 2010

The Smart Money Build

After all the whining and crying that went on about the "Dream build" post, I thought I'd do a post about what *I* would use to put together a bike - intelligent use of money, rather than $2k on a wheelset. Crazy concept, eh?

So without further ado, here's what I'd buy if I was spending my own money on a geared hardtail mountain bike. Note that pedals aren't included because preferences vary so much across the board - I can't really make a recommendation there. Explanations of my choices, too!

Frame Waltworks Custom, JC black

Well, duh. I personally like black, too, so if I were paying, I'd do the Johnny Cash black and save myself $100.

Fox RLC

Comes in every conceivable configuration for any application and rider. Made in the USA. Good warranty. What's not to like?

Headset King (any color)

Made in the USA by people who love what they do and ride what they make, 10 year warranty, sweet looks - what's not to like? King isn't just the bling choice - if you amortize the up front cost over those 10+ years (and I've seen plenty that are 15-20 years old and going strong) it's also the economical choice.

Stem Thomson X4

Once again, a USA-made product that is nigh-impossible to break and looks cool. Yes, you can save a few grams with other stem options - but IMO it's not worth it.

Handlebar Easton Monkeylite

The bar that started it all. Light, strong, not too stupidly expensive.

Shifters X-9 gripshift

I think the SRAM shifting system is better than Shimano, and I've always been a gripshift fan. As of now, most SRAM stuff is made in Germany, too, rather than China. I hear that is going to change, but it's still hopefully going to be good stuff.

Front derailleur SLX direct mount

Direct mount derailleurs work much better than clamp-on ones, and they're sleek looking and lighter weight to boot. Why SLX instead of XT? I like the grey color, and that's the only difference between the two models!

Rear derailleur X-9


The X-9 rear derailleur for 2010 weighs 205 grams (yes, I've weighed one). Is it worth spending an extra ~$200 for an XX derailleur that is 25 or 30 grams lighter? Your call, but that's a lot of beer or lift tickets or a day off work to go ride the local dirtjumps. I know what I'd choose...

Bottom Bracket w/cranks

Ride the Shimano BB that's included with the (SLX) cranks until it dies, then buy a King to replace it.

Chain PC951


Expensive chains are always a stupid idea - chains are the #1 thing that get screwed up on a mountain bike, and you don't save weight or add function with more expensive chains. The 951 is cheap, strong, and reliable. Keep it lubed and replace it if you need to.

Cassette XT 11-34

A good durable cassette at a decent weight and price.

Crankset SLX triple


Why not XT? Because the SLX is the same BB and crankarms, just slightly cheaper chainrings (which you'll wear out and replace anyway) and steel chainring bolts instead of aluminum. Want to save that 25g? Buy a $10 set of chainring bolts and replace them. Boom! You've got an XT crankset and you saved yourself $60.

Cables/housing Included
Seatpost Thomson Elite

See my earlier Thomson comments.

Brakes Avid Elixir 5


A great brake that is light, functional, and well, a bit ugly. I hate white. But for the price, you can't beat these things. They are easy to set up, powerful, and modulate well. The ONLY adjustment you can make is the lever reach, but I've never been a fan of brakes with a ton of knobs and dials all over them. That's just stuff to break in a crash.

Skewers Bolt-on


Easy way to save 50-60 grams, and they make your wheels feel a bit stiffer to boot. Yes, you have to have an allen wrench to get your wheel off - but honestly, who goes on a ride without an allen wrench?

Wheelset 240s w/Crest/355/Arch/Flow rims

You could make a case for Kings, but I have always loved my DT 240s. I had a set from 1999 when I rode for Schwinn that must have 20k+ miles on them without any maintenance at all - I sold them a couple of years ago and as far as I know, they are still going strong.

You could make a strong case for King here too, of course. They're a tiny bit (maybe $75) more expensive.

On the rim front, the Stan's/Notubes guys are blowing their competition out of the water these days. They make a rim for just about every mountain bike application that's the best in it's class, whether you're a 125# racer or a 250# hucker.

RimStrips Included
Tubes 1 qt sealant
Tires Maxxis Aspen/Ignitor/Ardent

All of these tires are great (for a variety of conditions and applications) and will work well tubeless as well. Maxxis rocks.

Grips/tape Ritchey WCS


My favorite grips - super light, comfy, and cheap. Be warned that they don't like to be removed once they're installed. For folks with wrist or hand problems, I like the Ergons.

Saddle WTB Laser V Pro


15g heavier than the ti model, and $40 cheaper. You do the math.

Total price: $3150

For those who are curious, a singlespeed version with a custom rigid fork, Paragon sliders, no shifters/derailleurs, and a King SS cog to replace the cassette is about $200 cheaper.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Pre-order 44mm headtube stock

After quite a bit of badgering by yours truly, the good folks at TT have started production of the new 44mm headtube stock. As of May 12th, I have a bit of extra stock still left after preorders have been filled, the tubing will remain available until it is gone.

For technical details, refer to the MTBR thread here.


As of fall 2010, I am out of stock of this tubing. It will be available directly from True Temper, or through Henry James in smaller quantities - contact them for details. Paragon Machine works is also producing a very nice 44mm ID head tube in a variety of lengths.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Build Kits: Dream Geared Build

Frame Waltworks Custom
Fork Fox F80/100 RLC (9mm or 15mm)
Headset King (any color)
Stem Thomson X4
Handlebar Edge Composites XC riser or flat
Brake levers w/brakes
Shifters XX
Front derailleur XX
Rear derailleur XX
Bottom Bracket King
Chain PC1090R
Cassette XX
Crankset XX
Pedals Eggbeater 4ti
Cables/housing Included
Seatpost Thomson masterpiece
Brakes SRAM XX
Skewers Bolt-on
Wheelset 240s or King hubs w/Edge rims
RimStrips Included
Tubes 1 qt sealant
Tires Maxxis Aspen/Ignitor/Ardent
Grips/tape Ritchey WCS
Saddle WTB Laser V ti

Total $5,800

Build Kits: Dream SS build

Yes, in a way this build sickens me. Because I wish I could justify it for myself...especially the Edge wheels (if you want the 240/King wheels with Stan's rims, subtractg $1300!).

Frame Waltworks Custom (w/ Paragon SL sliders)
Fork WW custom
Headset King (any color)
Stem Thomson X4
Handlebar Edge Composites XC riser or flat
Brake levers w/brakes
Shifters None
Front derailleur None
Rear derailleur None
Bottom Bracket King
Chain PC991
Cassette King steel cog
Crankset SRAM XX w/SS ring
Pedals Eggbeater 4ti
Cables/housing None
Seatpost Thomson masterpiece
Brakes SRAM XX
Skewers Bolt-on
Wheelset 240s or King SS hubs w/Edge XC or AM rims
RimStrips Included
Tubes 1 qt sealant
Tires Maxxis Aspen/Ignitor/Ardent
Grips/tape Ritchey WCS
Saddle WTB Laser V ti

Total $5,000

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Build Kits: Dirtbag geared

Yes, because it doesn't have the sliders, it's actually pretty much the same as the SS build. Crazy!

Frame Waltworks Custom
Fork WW custom or Rockshox Tora
Headset Cane Creek S-3
Stem Kalloy
Handlebar Kalloy riser
Brake levers FR-5
Shifters X-7 gripshift
Front derailleur X-7
Rear derailleur X-7
Bottom Bracket included w/cranks
Chain PC951
Cassette PC-950
Crankset Shimano SLX $120
Pedals None
Cables/housing Generic lined
Seatpost Kalloy Uno
Brakes Avid BB-7 160mm
Skewers Bolt-on
Wheelset ZTR hubs w/355/Arch/Crest rims
RimStrips Included
Tubes Standard Butyl
Tires Nanoraptor
Grips/tape Ritchey WCS
Saddle WTB Speed V

Total $2,350

Build Kits: Dirtbag SS

A post to kill time while we wait to take Sarah in to the hospital...

Some folks have complained about me taking down the build kit info on the old website. The reason for that was that parts prices have been changing so rapidly that it became way too much work to keep them updated. In any case, I've redone a few of them, so here you go (I'll post the dirtbag kits today, the fancy ones tomorrow)

Keep a couple things in mind:
-If you already have some parts, you can sub them in and it'll reduce the cost. You don't have to get the whole kit.
-Some of the parts (fork, wheels, especially) are actually fairly fancy. There are cheaper substitutes, but you should probably assume that if you can't come up with $1800 or so, you should keep saving your pennies.
-This build assumes Paragon slider dropouts and disc brakes. Yes, v-brakes would be cheaper. Figure about a $150-200 savings overall, as long as you picked inexpensive v-brakes.
-The build assumes that you'll take the Johnny Cash black ($100) discount. Any other color is an extra $100.
-There are no pedals.
-Expect shipping to run about $75-90 in the US.

Frame Waltworks Custom (sliders, JC black)
Fork WW custom or Rockshox Tora
Headset Cane Creek S-3
Stem Kalloy
Handlebar Kalloy riser
Brake levers FR-5
Shifters None
Front derailleur None
Rear derailleur None
Bottom Bracket included w/cranks
Chain PC951
Cassette King steel cog
Crankset Truvativ Stylo SS
Pedals None
Cables/housing Generic lined
Seatpost Kalloy Uno
Brakes Avid BB-7 160mm
Skewers Bolt-on
Wheelset ZTR hubs w/355/Arch/Crest rims
RimStrips Included
Tubes Standard Butyl
Tires Nanoraptor
Grips/tape Ritchey WCS
Saddle WTB Speed V

Total $2,350

Monday, April 12, 2010

More delays

We are dealing with the aftermath of the weekend right now (which I'm not going to go into), which involves some (thankfully safe, outpatient) surgery for Sarah tomorrow.

So please don't expect much to get done on the bike front. If I have time, I will try to get some shipping and other minor work done, but I can't make any promises. I hope to be back to a full work schedule on Wednesday, but it may take a few more days than that.

Thanks to everyone for the words of support over the weekend.

Friday, April 09, 2010

....

Sarah and I got some pretty bad news today, so I am taking the day off from doing any work. Don't expect email/phone responses until next week. My apologies.

-Walt

Thursday, April 08, 2010

Matt's fork


Matt emailed me looking for a custom fork. His email contained his weight (which, for the sake of privacy, I won't say, but he's not tiny) and the framebuilder's least favorite word.

"Drops".

Yes, we all like to go off drops, whether it's a curb or an 8' ladder. Drops are great fun, but they're really hard on equipment, because for every dozen you land smoothly on a nice 45 degree transition, there'll be one that you went off too fast/slow or that was bigger than you thought - and you'll land flat. In that situation, the bike is experiencing what your knees would if you jumped off your roof and landed with straight legs. Ouch.

In any case, Matt did say the one thing that allowed me to say yes to the project - "I'm not too concerned about weight". I can't count the number of clydesdale-sized, hard-on-parts riders who have emailed me asking for an 800 gram fork they can go hit drops and jumps with. Aaargh!

Solution: beef up the crown and use straightgauge .9mm fork blades. The fork isn't light (about 1200g with a 10" steerer) but it should hold up to some serious abuse and still ride relatively smoothly. Plus I think the lugged crown looks kinda cool. The lugs are made from 1.25x.058" 4130, machined on the mill to the shape I want. I weld everything up, then flux up the blades/crown and braze the blades in (in this case, much stronger than welding them), and finally cut off the excess fork blade material at the top.

I'll see if I can remember to get a picture of the fork when it's back from powdercoat and post it. Should be quite cool.

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Blood, sweat, and tears. And Krazy Glue.

Ryan got all three of the old standbys - started his fork on the day we gave up Snickers (hence the tears), worked on it yesterday whilst getting shelled by NoWork at the track (Madison handslings are HARD; sweat), and cut the crap out of my finger working on it as well. So Ryan's getting it all, plus a bit of the Krazy glue I used to close up the cut and keep working.

I hope he appreciates it!

Monday, April 05, 2010

A good weekend, also some sad news.

For those of you waiting with bated breath for my race report, I don't have one.

That's right, I wussed out when I looked out the window and saw trees bending over sideways in the wind (ok, exaggeration, but we did have some 50mph gusts) and elected to go for a run and lift some weights at the rec center with Sarah. I'm willing to suffer at the back of a bike race; it's happened many times, but if it's really miserable weather and I have to spend twice as much time driving as racing? No thanks.

Fuentes, Nick, and Eszter raced, though. Ezter and Fuentes both were 4th, Nick was 9th. There were 60 freaking racers in the Men's race! Wow! Nick then raced the SS race and got second (what a stud!)

If someone writes a race report, I'll post it up.

We also had to make a hard decision and give up our old yellow lab Snickers to the humane society - where he will hopefully find a home with no stairs and a sunny spot to sleep in. We're very sad, but it was only a matter of time before he got badly hurt falling down the stairs (our condo is a split level with no ground floor) so we had to do something, and this was the best option for him.

In any case, hopefully I'll have a productive week and maybe we'll *finally* see those 44mm head tubes from True Temper soon.

Saturday, April 03, 2010

Thursday, April 01, 2010

The ex-pro of excuses

Fuentes, the bastard, has talked me into doing the first of the front range mountain bike series races at Bear Creek on Saturday. I'm sure that this won't go well at all (it's flat, I'm out of shape, my only current mountain bike is godawful slow, whine, blah, whine).

I don't even have my usual "well, I was on a rigid singlespeed, so whine, blah, whine" excuse available, since I'm going to be riding my trusty (well, ok, by "trusty", I mean "free because DHL ran it over and the insurance bought the original owner a new bike, and then I bent some stuff back and welded some big plates on the places where it cracked) 4" travel 1x7 29er.

But never fear, I have a plan to explain my anticipated poor performance. It's a standard "pro" dodge. In fact, you've probably heard it before from your friends who think they're fast.

I'm doing a training race.

That's right. This is just setting me up for something *much* bigger and more important later in the season. If I'm vague about the details, it's definitely not because this mythical important race doesn't actually exist. No, indeed. I've got to get in shape, because you never know when Lance will call you up needing a final rider for his tour squad.

Training races are great. You can go super hard at the front for the first 30 seconds and blow up, and instead of being an idiot, you're training for those short hard efforts at the start of the big world cup races you'll be doing at some indeterminate time in the future. Or you can ride hard for a few laps, get some glory (relative glory, anyway), and then limp home (or drop out) - because the days training plan specifically says no more than 45 minutes in zone 2. Don't forget - you can also sit and spin for the first 90% of the race, then sprint some poor sucker for 45th at the line.

It's a beautiful thing, training racing. Even if you've spent thousands of dollars on the latest high-zoot power meter, a coach, the most disgusting recovery drinks you can find, and travel and entry fees, you can go out for just a few minutes, realize you're not going to win, and still salvage your ego.