Saturday, August 01, 2015

The preliminary list - worst bike names ever/marketing survey

Waltworks bikes don't have model names, since each one is different. But there have been some terrible bike names in the past (IMO Intense and the gun-name thing in the 90s/2000s was the worst).

But we're eating pancakes on a fine Saturday morning and thinking of terrible bike names. Feel free to contribute in the comments (no super offensive ones, please) and I'll edit!

Would you ride a Waltworks:

Spirit Animal?
EPT (are you listening, Niner? You need a women's model. Call me, we'll negotiate royalties.)
Bougie Camaro?
Peyote (for Niner, LSD)?
Oliver North?
Duff (probably a bonus copyright violation too)?
FFUD (shoutout to REEB)?
Humpy the Moose?
Dapper Dan?
Finnegan's Wake?
Coach Z?
Oedipus (get the ReXTR build)?


Anonymous said...

sponge bob

inthewoods said...

The Slug
Rusty Squeaker
Flexy Flyer
Onion Sandwich
Grime Collector
Mud Bucket

Chris said...

Phalaris. For people who think "peyote" is too obvious.

bikewrider said...

I've had Leishmaniasis, and I'd ride that.

Ryan said...

My actual mountain bike is actually a "Gigolo," a name so embarrassing I can barely bring myself to mention it. The bike itself is great. But yes, I ride a Gigolo when I want some fun.

Every bike from Cove Bikes has an incredibly inappropriate name, they're all sexual innuendoes.

I don't think it's so bad, but if you don't like Intense's gun-based names, you might not like local vendor .243 Bikes.

Also, spare a moment for Builder Sam Wittingham, who had to go through two other names for trademark reasons before settling on "Naked" as his bike brand.

taryn said...

My Motobecane Jubile was tagged one night on Pearl and was henceforth known as my "Nubile" bike. I thought it was kind of clever. Not sure how its future owner will feel about it.

Anonymous said...

What about the WW schadenfreude line?


Eric Wever said...

Mr. Sparkle
Green Machine

Eric Wever said...

(Those are all WW frames, btw)