Thursday, July 26, 2007

Laugh if you will...


So I'll probably lose the respect of most of you by admitting this, but what the heck. Sarah and I are on a bad-movie spree of late (ie, deliberately watching movies that we know are bad - Cool as Ice, Guyver, House 2, etc). So the other night we watched Aeon Flux (and yes, that's an actual still from the movie). No, not the so-cool-it-makes-your-eyes-bleed animated version that was on MTV (and which, it's worth pointing out, I never saw). We watched the universally-loathed live-action movie version. And I liked it quite a bit, as did Sarah. We were pretty disconcerted by this turn of events, so I hit the internet to find out why people hated it so much. Here are the reasons I found:
1. It's not as cool as the cartoon/plot is totally different. I can't respond to this, because I never saw an entire episode of the cartoon, but I do sympathize, at least in theory.
2. Aeon doesn't wear a virtually nonexistent swimsuit type outfit. Once again, I can understand, but if they'd put a live actress in the outfits that the cartoon wore, the movie would be NC-17 in a hurry.
3. The acting sucks. Well, honestly, this isn't freaking King Lear. It's basically a story about super-powered cloned people trying to murder each other with exotic weapons. So, really, mostly the acting needs to consist of looking lethal and/or hot, and managing to mouth your lines while keeping a straight face. And hey, it has the guy who played Kaiser Susse in The Usual Suspects, wearing what appears to be a giant, inverted cloth bucket.
4. The sets look they came from an ad in Dwell (ok, I made up this one, but it's true). I actually thought the primary colors/Ikea look added to the atmosphere of the movie nicely, but it was pretty over the top.

Where am I going with all this? I'm not really sure, given that I doubt any of the bike geeks reading this are going to rush out and rent Aeon Flux, and if you did, you'd probably hate it, just like everyone else on the planet.

Bike-related post tomorrow, I promise.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

well walt, i;ve been looking for an excuse to rent this on DVD and i think you just gave it to me. gotta love a movie so bad it's good.

Feldy said...

Saying that the plotline of Aeon Flux didn't follow the cartoon is a non-starter. As far as I could tell, the cartoon had no plotline. It started as 5 minute (or so) shorts with no dialog that were super-rad but made little-to-no sense. Then there were 1/2 hour cartoons with dialog, but somehow the more they "explained" stuff, the less sense it made. Seriously, the movie explains more in the 2 minutes of voiceover at the beginning than all of the cartoons combined.

And I can't believe you rented Cool as Ice. Not that it's not awesome, but I didn't think it'd be available anywhere. Some key lines:

Ice: "Why don't you ditch the zero and get with the hero."

and

Girl: "Ok, well, I'll see you later."
Ice: "You're seein' me right now."

And hey, the guy didn't grow up on the streets or dominate motocross like he originally claimed, but AFAIK he still rides moto, so that's better than nuthin'.

Walt said...

I think Vanilla was the US jetski racing champion a few times. I remember seeing him on ESPN5 or something when flipping through channels on vacation about 10 years ago.

Cool as Ice is freaking awesome. Don't let anyone tell you different.

BTW, most of these movies were downloaded from bittorrent. So we didn't spend a dime.

Cellarrat said...

Loved that movie...

Never cought the cartoon..

But hey also play D/G in high school too...

Walt said...

Hey Dave -

Do you mean dungeons and dragons? What's D/G?