Well, ok, so I'm one of those America-hating commies who doesn't eat meat and rides a bike to the farmer's market to pick up organic patchouli and play hacky-sack. Or something like that. So I'm not really having wings. I'm having seitan wings. But as most people know, the chicken is not the important part of wings. The *sauce*, man, the sauce!
Thus, Sarah's nuclear wing sauce recipe (yes, it's really that color)
2c dry cayenne peppers (or 3-4 TBSP powder)
1/3c chopped onion
6 big cloves to 1 head of garlic, crushed (adjust according to your or your SO's garlic tolerance, and whether you feel like you might score that evening)
1/3c canned tomatoes
1c white vinegar
1 stick butter
1 bottle of "Louisiana" hot sauce (surprisingly easy to find)
1/2 lemon worth of lemon juice
1 tsp honey or agave nectar
Roast the peppers in a pan. Run a fan, or risk tearing up and coughing uncontrollably. Don't burn them. Add enough water to cover the peppers and boil for 5 minutes or so.
Drain the water, put the peppers in the blender with the water, vinegar, and a teaspoon of salt. Blend the bastards.
Cook the butter in the pan until it's all melted. Add the onion, garlic, tomato, and hot sauce. Cook for 5 min or so, then add the peppers and cook for 2 more minutes. Pour everything in the blender and blend again, add all the remaining ingredients, and pour back into the pan. Simmer for 20 minutes.
Now get some fine beers (Avery Hog Heaven or Rascal would be fine choices) and go nuts with chicken, or seitan (which is really good - seriously, especially if you make it yourself), or whatever.